Lately, I will admit, school has been TOUGH for me. I am usually pretty chipper in the morning. Looking back on my life, I would call myself a "morning person" but lately, I soooooo don't want to get up and go to school! I have a hard time getting out the door and then when I GET to school, I try to avoid eye contact with people because I am in too bleak of a mood to exchange pleasantries with anyone. This is so unusual for me. I know the whole "pregnancy hormone thing" must have something to do with it, because I TRY not to be this way, but I fall flat. I also think lack of sleep plays into this, since from about 2 am to 4 am every night, I am tossing and turning with panicky thoughts of babies sleeping in dresser drawers and a house of chaos (I guess the bright side to this is I am completely prepared for late nights with newborns)!
So, I guess those are the reasons I have struggled with mornings lately. It isn't until about the time I see those sweet little kindergarten faces light up at my very presence, that my mood begins to shift and life feels normal again. By lunch, I am ready to chat with all my peeps and find myself laughing and enjoying the time that I have left here (plus, when Steve brings me food and Gatorades, that helps too)..
Recently, more and more kids have been coming up to me and asking about the "baby". It's funny because, I guess they really didn't notice "the bump" before now. They ask, "Mrs. Peterson, are you going to have a baby?" as if this is new news! They are all so interested and ask a lot of the same questions that I hear from adults, only in child like form. It is funny to hear what they are interested in when they ask about the babies. Here are some, I can remember, that made me smile:
"When are you going to EVER have that baby Mrs. Peterson?"
"WOAH! What happened to you?" (This from a kindergartner who I guess doesn't get out much. He did not realize I was "with child" until recently and then, it didn't even dawn on him that there could possibly be a BABY in there! He needed me to explain why I had gotten so fat!)
"Mrs. Peterson, is it going to be a boy or a girl?" (After I say both-they giggle like crazy with a subtle look of shock- so genuinely excited for me! Makes me excited all over again.)
"Mrs. Peterson, are you going to have the baby at school or at the doctor's?"
"Mrs. Peterson, will you bring your babies to school for show and tell?"
"What will you name the babies?" (I love asking advice on this subject since most of the students at my school are Hispanic. I get a GREAT insight into names and what's HOT for their culture right now. Some examples I can remember: Enrique for a boy and Star for a girl.)
Well, those little comments do brighten my day, but lately-niceties from so many people are making me smile, even through the hormones. A couple of weeks ago, one of my little students gave me a gift at the end of the day. It was one of those binky (pacifier) straps that you attach to the baby's clothes so they don't drop the bink. Well, of course it is used, but I thought it was so sweet. The little girl said, as she handed it to me, "This is for your new baby." Ohhhh, melt my heart:) Well, I guess some other kids saw her do this and every now and then, another sweet child will bring me in a little left over and forgotten baby item from their house to give to me for my "new baby". It has been so cute. Here is a picture of some of the items.
The one that surprised and touched me the most is that hot pink pony from Melanie. She's kind of a rough little girl and is often in trouble for "hurting" people (albeit sometimes on accident). She handed it to me one morning and I could tell this was a sacrifice for her (let's face it, the kids I teach have very little. They are poor, disadvantaged kids who get ponies like this once in a blue moon). At first, I almost wanted to decline the gift, but how GREAT is it for her to know that I will be letting my little daughter play with her pony and every time she does, I will 'think of Melanie.' Oh the look on her face when I said that to her-priceless!
And then, today (the motivation for me to finally blog a post) when one of my favorite co-workers heard me complaining about the AWFUL smells in my room (a mix of dirty, stinky feet and urine) she brought me a new Bath and Body Works plug in thingy to freshen my life! So nice. Doesn't take much to brighten my day and make me smile! I just wish I could do it AUTOMATICALLY like before! I guess the trick is to REMEMBER these little moments in life, reflect on them when I'm feeling "the burn" and count them as the great blessings that they are.
I know that things WILL get done, eventually and I WILL have everything ready. It's just taking a little more time than I would like. On the bright side, if I DO need to put my babies to sleep in a dresser drawer, at least I will be the one home to do it (and my patience is growing so much these days, I will probably enjoy it)! I know I will miss being a teacher. I will miss the kids (smells and all) and the comments and the relationships with co-workers but all in all I will be relieved to have my good ol' "morning person" self back and NOT have to go to school every single day. Until then, I will smile at the simple little things that are making this hard last stretch of the road a little bit easier and try not to panic when I think about how soon I will be a new mommy again.
